"Doc, as a Project Manager I am responsible for everything and in control of nothing.
Think about that and let me know if you still think my current blood pressure readings are related to my diet, all things considered..."
As a PM you are held accountable for the success or failure of something that you have no direct control over and can only influence through threats or bribes or a combination of the two.
Imagine being strapped in a seat at the back of a plane's cockpit. You can see the ground coming up alarmingly fast, you're yelling at the pilot, pleading with him to pull up but he ignores you.
You beg, promise your weight in gold, priceless jewels but get no response. You threaten to inflict slow torture and painful death to him and all he loves.
Still nothing.
You offer your soul for eternity if he just lifts the stick and pulls you all out of the imminent catastrophe.
Finally exhausted you slump back hoping against hope that you've got through to him.
The pilot gets up, walks past you and exits the cockpit. He shags one of the stewardesses, flicks you a spiderman before parachuting to safety, hopping in another plane and taking off.
The plane crashes horribly with hundreds killed but you amazingly survive.
While being stretchered to an ambulance there's a crowd of onlookers screaming. They want your head, the crash was all your fault, why didn't you do something!
Welcome to Project Management
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